I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm bleeding and have questions
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
