i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
