Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
