You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
