So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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