I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
