That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
