I need help removing her.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
