as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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