she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
