Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
