Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
