Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize