Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
