she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
