I feel great
I just peed on a car
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize