oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
