My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
