Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
