Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
