I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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