I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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