and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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