she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
