I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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