Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
