I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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