Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize