I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
