I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize