I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
