good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
bring money and cleavage
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
