Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
