You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize