Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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