I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
