I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
