i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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