i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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