Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
