If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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