yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
