I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
