I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
