p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
