You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize