and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
