remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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