Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
