my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
