nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I am available for nakedness
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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