We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
