I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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