I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
