Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize