Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
My cat gives me a boner
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
jump out the window naked night went bad
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
