his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
