can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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