So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
