i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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