After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
accomplished twins. life is a go
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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