I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize